Example Toasts

Sample Roast

I'm up here tonight to honor Barry for all the work he's done for this company. Now, I'm a little ashamed that I didn't actually write a speech for this. Mostly because I figured Barry would still be up on stage thanking people at this point in the evening. I'm not saying he talks too much, but we're the only business in town that had to use lecture halls instead of conference rooms. We once had 300 freshmen wander in thinking that he was teaching a class on Intro to Business. Too bad the first half hour of every one of his meetings is spent talking about his dog.

No, but seriously, Barry is really great. At golf. That was in his job description, right? It's like he read, "Must be proficient at driving" and forgot to finish the part that said "a sales team towards a 5-percent efficiency increase over the course of two years." Oops. I don't even know how he got the job, the way I'm sure he was telling Mike in HR how far he was below par.

But seriously, Barry. You've been a great boss and a great golf partner. You're always the last person to come into the office in the morning and the first person to leave at night. Here's to you.

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