Example Toasts

   High School Graduation Toast

    

A toast, if you will! I would like to propose a toast to my son, John, on his graduation day. John, as your mother, you know that I would love to use this opportunity to embarrass you with pictures of your naked baby butt, but I won't. Instead, I'd like to just tell you how happy I am that you've come this far, and to thank everyone here for coming to celebrate with us.

As I'm sure all of you know, John has been granted a full scholarship to Anytown University, and plans to study physics in order to work for Anytown Rockets where he interned this summer. John, we couldn't be more proud of you.

Had I known this was where your life was headed, I would have bought you more of those extremely dangerous model rockets you used to blow up the neighbor's chimney. Remember that? I think listening to Mr. Johnson threaten to sue us for two weeks was worth your longstanding interest in rocket science.

I hope you know, John, that everything you have ever done in your life has prepared you precisely for this moment. You will be the perfect rocket scientist, and the only one in our family. So, cheers to John! May your career fly as high as your rockets.

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Index of Example Toasts